A poem by Susan Hogarth

As time passes I can still see your face that haunts me in my dreams where I embrace you and cry in your arms as I fear death. I wonder if your life is happy in the deep hole of isolation by the ocean.  It is the only change that stops me from reaching out to hear your cheeky voice telling me that everything will be ok. I am curious to know if the addictions that destroyed reality still exist in your mind. 

It feels like a lifetime ago that insanity took my cleverness and replaced it with delusions in the nights that became days.  I remember the beaches and the vessels where we hid from everyone, the ringing of the machines that swallowed my money, and those who slithered through my life and took my breath away. 

Sensibility now speaks through others who validate the miracle of my survival in the grand fight for life.  Sleep comes easily.  Chaos lives only when I create it through old behaviour that hides behind my insecurity.  I write, and I dream a dream of feeling your breath on my cheek while knowing that it will never be.

Water under the bridge of life, and if I look, I can see the life raft that you ride, and as it moves past, you smile up at me… and float on.

– Susan Hogarth, 2008